While i ponder things and sometimes dwell, i do try my hardest to get things done.
As an introvert, i tend to think about things quite a bit, think about different scenarios and
situations, and act according to what i think will work out. Sometimes I get impulsive, just because i get tired of thinking about things. I usually tend to observe things around me and act according to what i've seen. For exmaple, if someone i know has gotten a ticket around the cottonwood area for something stupid like tinted windows, I would then drive slower, watch my speed, stop at the stop signs for a bit longer, and try and make sure there is no reason for a CHP to pull me over. I guess you could call it paranoia, but the way i see it, getting pulled over too would just be my luck.
Personally sometimes I wish that I were different when it came to taking risks. As an observer, I constantly calculate what would happen if something were to go wrong, or what could go wrong. The funny thing is, when it comes to life situations, most of the time I'm an optimistic and hopeful soul. But when it comes to myself, many times i assume that the world is out to get me. If i could change the way i am, i would also try to find reason to be more motivated. All my life i feel like i've been in denial of growing up, and ive seen the world for what it is, which is most of the time quite cruel. I dont want to let my fears get the best of me, because the biggest risk you ever take is to not take any risks at all.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
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